F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast
This is a sex and dating advice podcast hosted by Dain Miller and Niall Spain. They aim to answer listeners' questions on sticky and sexy topics, while challenging toxic masculinity and rape culture. Listeners can submit their own questions via email. The show is distributed on Acast.
Episodes
Puss in Tatters
If anybody needs me, I'll be hanging out with my other God buddies today, so please don't try to reach me via anything other than astral projection. Topics include the WNBA, being groomed by a spiritual man, too tired to text, hard out here for a wannabe pimp, the magic is gone.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Just Be Normal
It's not hard, guys. Just be normal. Just don't do anything weird. Topics include bringing your own ball, letting people know you're ready to date, break up regret, too intense or just scared of attention.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sam Raimi's Dating Advice
You idiots are hitting the gym, developing a personality, and trying new hobbies. I'm getting taken over by an evil alien slime. We are NOT the same. Topics include the reality of symbiote infection, how to stop being so good, lying about how you met, and are they an ex or a friend? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Bung Ho
I don't think we deserve a lot of credit for the stuff that we say on this show, however, the amount of butt puns accidentally stumble into this week is something we should celebrate. Topics include Spidey SEO, the two attempt rule, disrespectful slow fade, the blood vase, a suspicious medical note. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Hot Flash, Buddy!
We're going to take all of the idioms and make them incorrect and there's nothing you can do about it. Topics include do women care about lots of Instagram followers, checking off the boxes on being dateable, what does spitting on your partner mean, uninteresting and unattractive hobbies.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Smooch Train
CHOO CHOO! All aboard the smooch train! Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what the Smooch Train is, but I wrote it down in my notebook of episode titles, so... ALL ABOARD! Topics include would you eat your female coworkers spoonful of food, "uncommon" standards, Schrödinger's boyfriend, and what happens on a first date. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Return of the Emotional Rollercoaster
The emotional rollercoaster is a real emotional rollercoaster. Topics include John Cena's check in lessons, my boyfriend's AI clone, unrequited crushes, let's just be friends (after sex), first date expectations.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Our Work is Done
I know it's hard to believe, but prior to this episode... we weren't perfect. But we have shed our flawed mortal forms and stand before as shimmering beams of pure light. Topics include a Minion disclaimer, boobs: what do they mean, doing the work, the futility of being a short king, and a new Hinge feature.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Greedy Pervert
If you don't listen to this episode, I WILL start tweeting like Drake. Topics include AI catfishing, disclosing all your deal breakers, ruining the mood with bodily functions, how to completely misread signals, don't be greedy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mecca of Day Game
After 400 episodes, we have FINALLY located the Mecca of harassing women who don't want our attention in public spaces. Topics include a dating app with no dates, is pick-up artistry a scam, expanding your physical preferences, accidentally improving yourself.Join the Patreon for MORE CONTENT. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Files Filled With Bees
Greg, if you're going to tell me some long-winded story about a filing error... the result better be catstrophic. Topics include the worst brother ever, knowing your date hates you, do you bother talking to men, what chance do we have if highly accomplished people are single? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sk8er Boi
You start dating this guy, but you don't really think it's going to go anywhere (because you're a good girl) and the next thing you know... he's slamming on his guitar on MTV. Topics include how dating as a man should be, dating a punk while you're a good girl, escaping the dreaded on-screen boob, Dylan a little dumb.Support us on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informati
Tony Pizza Finds Love
I'll never leave you, Tony Pizza. We'll drive off a cliff together in a high speed police chase. Topics include delivery dating, Meta glasses, hyper independence and cultural dating scenes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Scrunch Your Nuts
Last week we fixed your finances, this week we're getting your nuts SCRUNCHED. Topics include more than one way to incorrectly use social media, doing everything (including finger stuff), recovering from a bad experience.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Investment Girlfriend
If you're not shorting your relationships then you're an absolute idiot. BUY LOW, SELL HIGH! Topics include smart investments, tired of the word clingy, Irish tantric humiliation, delaying sexy times for medical reasons.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What Have We Become?!
I need to know how serious we are about this relationship and also what you have done to my flesh and bone structure... I'm a monster! Topics include a petty review, AI wife, dating culture shock, what are your intentions with me?Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Cooksmaxxing
Bone smashing is out, y'all. We're tenderizing. We're marinating. We're seasoning. And we are irresistible. Topics include waiting by the phone like a cuck, using a huge dildo like a good friend, blindfolded sex, accidentally love thongs.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Looking for Guts
What's longer? The length of a grown adult's intestines or the road trip to your evil, wizard boyfriend? Topics include real sour, jealous energy, when do you stop having sex, doing your own inside research, communicating with your wife via text.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Michelle Obama's Biography
Oh, this? It's just my favourite book that I read from time to time to really get inspired, Michelle knows what she's doing! Topics include performative males, emotionally filling her cup, mommy back rubs, uneducated kinksters.Support the show on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Please Be Cool, John Cena
With the state of the world and, you know... everything, I don't think expecting John Cena to be cool is really that much to ask for. Topics include masturbating to your date's profile, chatty blowjobs, being attracted to women, but not liking them, and dampening the clapping of cheeks.Join the Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Give Your Date a Brick
Forget flowers, forget chocolates. What every woman wants is a good, old fashioned, red brick. Topics include committing to the brick bit, proving your masculinity, old love, cake for an ex.Join the Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Inside Inside the Manosphere
We sit down in the Sleepless Studios here in Toronto to do a special deep-dive into the new documentary Inside the Manosphere.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Irish Men Getting RUINED
I don't know why I need to say it, but if you have to go to the bathroom... then go to the bathroom. WAIT! But actually use a toilet! Topics include a go-anywhere kinda dad, keeping the back arched, bad bathroom idea, how do I know if she liked it?Join the Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sperm of the Moment
More like Carpe Deez Nuts, right? Am I right, guys? Deez nuts? That's still funny right? Topics include cab fare, too weak for missionary, leaving Raul out of it, sex recovery day. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chemistry So Hot, They Must Be Related
I'm starting to get the step-sibling trend in porn now... it's the only way they could get the chemistry that sexy! Topics include I love you and also I never want to see you again, embarrassing oral, treat her like your little sister, unrealistic dating standards. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Metroid Ball Blowjob
It's an absolute miracle that this episode exists considering all of the technical difficulties we suffering while recording. So, you know, really enjoy this one. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ask the Roblox Children
We're always bragging about our great advice, but have you ever thought of where it REALLY comes from? Topics include never nude, definitely not premature ejaculation, the dating experts lied.Join the Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Public Foot Oiling
Next time you're out at a bar, I want you to look around and try to guess how many people are actively participating in their kink and/or a sex act. Have fun! Topics include exclusivity test, public vibrator outing, eating the peach, and the hand not closing the deal.NOTE: Also, we apologize, but due to a scheduling conflict we had to postpone our live show! We're really bummed and very sorry!S
Tiktok Made Me Do It
It doesn't matter what stupid idea your teenage brain comes up with, you can always blame Tiktok. Topics include breaking beds, size comparisons, being a sleepy guy, and feelin' weird about feet.Support the show and get more content: www.patreon.com/fbuddies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Reversible Undies
Everyone knows that underwear resets in freshness every day if it's worn inside out. Topics include the sleepiness men must fight, swinging in a situationship, keeping the drawers fresh, ejaculate volume. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sexy JK Simmons Cosplay
BRING ME MORE (SEXY) PHOTOS OF SPIDER-MAN! Topics include the sneaking suspicion of dishonesty, the effects of emotions on sexual stamina, making your girlfriend more kinky, and position practice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
No Sex in the Mole Zone
Please, for the love of God, if you listen to ANY of our advice: do not put soil inside you. It's dirt. It's literal dirt. Topics include abandonment issues, cuddle boners, focusing on yourself is a lie, holy mole-y. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Divorce Encouragers
Before you marry that man you literally just met, please know that you have our full and enthusiastic support to divorce him. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Surprisingly Slick with Werewolf Nut
Happy 2026! Dain promises he won't make any bold statements about this year considering how last year went with... you know. Everything. Topics include the guilt of being a sex machine, basic biology, unexpected rimjob, navigating a kinky new partner. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dragon Pouch
I honestly can't remember what Dragon Pouch means or how we got there and I'm holidays, so you can't make me figure it out. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Blue Balls Are a Liberal Hoax
Studies have been done by all the top science research places: blue balls are an entirely made up thing. Don't try to argue with us, argue with SCIENCE. Topics include team building in the worst way possible, deck the halls with balls of blue, breast reduction woes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Pull Her Head Off (Sub-Zero Style)
Dain's New Year's Resolution is to stop suggesting that performing Mortal Kombat fatalities is a solution to your problems. Topics include dude, where's my car? The important of ball play, a pre-exclusivity fling, and bringing a cool vibe to a sex party. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The "What Do You Mean?" Theory
It's time to throw the "Let Them" Theory into the trash where it belongs and start taking life, and your relationships, by the reins with a very simple question: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! Learn how to embrace bravery and become the master of your own destiny by asking: WHAT DO YOU MEAN!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
My $1200 First Date
If you're not going to drop at least $1.2 MILLION dollars on me PER DATE, I'm going to doubt your commitment. Topics include how to hunt down your set up, blowjob pains, a very expensive first date, to use hands or not to use hands. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fart Promises
This week's episode is a little shorter than usual due to technical difficulties and Dain being bad at math. Topics include missing the giant hint, getting to the sex phase, deciding to break wind or a promise, and the value of rough oral sex. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mr. Beast's Guillotine Games
It's time once again to beg at the Altar of Beast in order to be thrown just enough scraps to continue our meager existence. Topics include a beastly missed opportunity, creating a safe sexual environment, budget conscious condoms, the boy ain't alright. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Baby Butthole Boy
Mess with the bull and you'll get the horns especially if you're a big city woman who's too focused on her career to find love. Topics include post sex shit-tests, long tongue but bad technique, a shaved butthole, irritated over old nudes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Worst Mr. Big
You know that feeling when you hear a song and then you make that whole song your personality for awhile? Maybe be a little more discerning with what song you're choosing...Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Getting the Juices Flowing
Better start wearing a raincoat whenever you see me out in public because when I'm holding a hand... NOBODY IS SAFE. Topics include how to be mysterious in the age of social media, playing dead, a damp pant situation, when to transition to casual dates.Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
I Hate My Stupid, Secret Son
Don't you hate it when your stupid kid just exists and totally blows up your spot? Topics include pirate re-population, sex inhibiting breast size, a surprise son, date burn out. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ziploc Sex Kit
There is nothing sex about a Ziploc bag... UNLESS it's one of those ones with the slidey-closer thing. Those ones are HOT. Topics include oral hygiene wake up call, celibate Tinder match, get your ex back with no contact, preparing your sex baggie. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
From the Vault: Netflix and Chill - My Fault / Culpa Mia
Niall is on vacation this week, so we're digging into the Patreon vaults to treat you to a little movie review of the unhinged teen romance movie My Fault. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
A Walk to Remember Situation
There are a few exceptions to the rule and one of them is always if it's A Walk to Remember situation. Topics include contractually obligated angry sex, impatient partner, never split the party, when do you know. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
How to Re-Jizz Your Jizz
Lock and load has never been a more gross turn of phrase. Topics include the clean vs dirty debate, if he wanted to: he would, recording your dates for AI approval, a ghost tale as old as time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dr. Goon, Penis MD
Unfortunately, Dr. Goon is all booked up for appointments for the next month. I can refer you to another Penis MD, if you'd like. Topics include date ideas for the broken armed, refusing to sleep in a sex stained bed, did you sleep with Dead Greg, and turning physical attraction into love. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Bartenders Know You Suck At Dating
This week we go off script and give you dating advice based on the grim things we've seen as bartenders and servers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tactical Wake Up
RPG!!!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sleepy Time Clit Sucker
If you saw me outside your home staring into your windows from the street... no, you didn't. Topics include a drive-by creeping, an exciting new masturbation technique, channeling your inner Moody, and pity sex. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Snapchat Implications
If you're concerned about Dain's energy in this episode, just remember he's shirtless. That should explain everything. Topics include using Snapchat as a cold-call dating app, the mystery behind two hour sessions, info dumped on the Tea app, and being a starfish. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Lemme See That Hog, Bestie!
I think we can all agree that we've ALL wanted to see our friend's penis before... right? Right? Topics include your friend is undergoing a slutification, constructing the perfect text to ask him out, drunken genital requests, dating when you're a trainwreck. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Al-Qaeda's Favourite Music Venue
Everyone knows that oppressive government regimes are huge fans of the local music scene. Topics include caught with a a less than true Instagram story, asking someone out who isn't responding, can you just live your life without cold approaching. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 354 - Spanish on the Streets, English in the Sheets
If anyone needs a dog to rent for their Tinder photoshoot, please contact me. I have a wide range of available makes and models. Topics include staging a doggy photoshoot, taking pictures as a man, when sexy banter turns into a linguistic car crash, I love you too soon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 353 - Wieners, Bats and Wiimotes
If you ever needed a brainstorming session as to what the worst type of bag a vagina could be, we've got you covered. Topics include some much needed positivity, painful hickeys, dating misconceptions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 352 - Never Let an Erection Get in the Way of a Magic Trick
Well, wrap me up in a carpet and throw away my hundreds of snakes because I refuse to believe any woman doesn't want a vagina full of magic ribbon. Topics include how to make your relationship disappear, the wandering eye that is actually pretty stationary, skipping lay day on first dates, and a Tinder profile 2000 swipes in the making. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 351 - The Unproblematic Music of Smooth Dave Shelves
Buckle up for Hetero Awesomefest 2, the second lamest musical event of the summer! Topics include an untrustworthy retelling of Chris Brown's crimes, an ass maneuver, catching the bouquet just to drop the mildest joke.Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 350 - Gay Dracula (Pride Special with Tim Lagman and Trevor Campbell)
We celebrate pride with two of our favourite people live at the Black Sheep! Trevor Campbell and Tim Lagman join us for a night of advice and laughs.Listen to Trevor on Queerial!Listen to Tim on Sex Ed with Tim! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 349 - Rest in Hell, Peter Steele
Catch this episode before it disappears like the Declaration of Independence or whatever they're to steal in Now You See Me 3D. Topics include tearing and texting, bringing up the snip, altar to an asshole, treat your dick pics like food bloggers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 348 - COVID Dog Tail Dick
Remember when we were all stuck at home and were so horny that all of our dicks got injured? Topics include permanent jewelry is ultimate betrayal, the unending erection, not trying to get laid on a first date, and hole preference.Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 347 - Exorcist Eye Contact
I swear the splatter of suspicious liquids all over my walls, floors and ceilings are just from my cat's medicine! Topics include the sweetest dirty talk, deepthroat inadequacies, disclosing your circumcision status, mandatory eye contact. Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 346 - Troll Time on the Cum-Clock
When I'm reaching the expiry of my cum-clock, I like to play The Final Countdown as loud as possible to really drive the point home. Topics include sexual performance under scrutiny in front of family, voyeur baiting, co-worker rejection, the loneliness epidemic.Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 345 - Podcaster Murder Forest
Just try to stump us, we dare you! Topics include interracial dating techniques, a surprise ejaculation, being the side character in your boyfriends rom-com arc, unacceptable sluttiness. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 344 - The Stick and Stay Technique
DOGS DON'T GO TO HEAVEN! Topics include dating teenagers as an adult, statuesque sex, oopsie poopsie, judgmental friends.Join the Patreon: www.patreon.com/fbuddies Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 343 - A Cummings Worth of Piss
In this episode we go into great detail that arcane secrets you must comprehend and master in order to pee just enough to make someone think it's jizz. Topics include semen Houdini, difference between sex and making love, a racially charged kink, hooking up after the break up. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 342 - Mall Bath
In this laser focused episode, we don't go on a single tangent and stay on topic the entire time. Topics include literal trust falls, no rhythm, the dog training method, how to use someone you're already using.Join the Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 341 - Gooner Dad Fads
For all you deviant dads out there, be sure to smash that like and subscribe button to keep up to date on all your gooner gags. Topics include a suspicious dad profile picture, dude looks like a lady, Android-based ick, don't be afraid to catch feelings. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 340 - Achilles Reel
Time to crank one out before the season ends, boys. WE WILL NOT FINISH IN BRONZE. Topics include a real stinker of a husband, should I stay or should I go, eye roll emojis in an argument, and doing the bare minimum. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 339 - Mambo #69
The only time cyberbullying is acceptable is against Kevin Sorbo. Topics include the first love is the strongest, is he just trying to smash, neighbourly love, and DISAPPOINTED. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 338 - Bedroom Rock Bottom
Put this episode on your Facebook shortcuts because you're going to want to come back to it. Topics include secret sniffing, breaking her, Facebook's top five, defective pubic hair. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 337 - Quiet 5.5, An 8.5 is Talking
If you're not blasting this episode in public through a speaker backpack, I don't think you even really care about us. Topics include he doesn't know he just broke up with me, new pussy problems, forced to hang out with her ex, my ex is telling me no. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 336 - Dinosaurs are a Liberal Hoax
If I can't see, I don't believe it and I ain't NEVER seen a dolphin! Topics include not quittin' the gym, sharing sex problems publicly, my not so smart boyfriend, a dead libido rises again. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 335 - Dry Me Up, Baby
Hey baby, why don't we go back to my place and I can get you reaaaaal dry. Topics include the games of young women, a whispered suggestion, fake boob reveal, alcohol is more than a social lubricant. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 334 - Rolex Madness
Men are throwing themselves into traffic, smashing windows with their faces, tearing out their own hair. It can only be one thing: ROLEX MADNESS. Topics include my husband's AI girlfriend, wearing a Rolex on a date, financial deceit, overthinking for overthinking's sake. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 333 - The First Male True Crime Podcast
In this episode we laugh so hard we have to stop the show. Topics include the perfect murder, not holding up your end of the love triangle, preventing poop dick, and an unforgettable blowjob.Join the Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 332 - Homes or Homo (feat Sex Ed with Tim)
This week we're joined by fellow Canadian Podcast Award winning host, Tim Lagman. Tim brings an assortment of questions from his listeners to the boys as well as a new and exciting game: Home or Homos!Check out Sex Ed with Tim! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 331 - Coffee and a Long Blowjob
In this week's episode we come across the wildest office coffee order list we've ever seen. Topics include settling for anything less than magnetic magic, a girlfriend that really likes to show off (everything), lurkin' in the manga section, husband's weird, secret list.Come see us perform live! Feb. 20th, Black Sheep, Toronto. Tickets available here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for
